Decode the Skill of Manliness with Four Powerful Words

Being a man is a way of life that’s under attack nowadays. The pitiful “cancel culture” of sad sacks who can’t add value to our culture and world would rather destroy the concepts they fail to understand, like manliness, and replace them with the null concepts, homogeneity, even nothingness. Maybe we should review what manliness is to help defend against this existential threat of those who cancel everything they can’t understand or appreciate.

Understanding being a man, or manliness, is surprisingly simple. I have a simple model using what I call the 4M’s of Man.

If you think about it, no one tells a guy to “male up” or “be a male”. The reason is that manliness is a higher level construct that goes beyond being just a male, with a Y-chromosome in your DNA, testicles, testosterone. As I see it, manliness is sum of several key characteristics that build upon the biology of the male human. Man = Male + Masculine + Masterful + Moral

Let’s take a look at 4M model and explore the four characteristics that elevate a male to higher level.

Male

Manliness is rooted in biology, that is, in being a human male. The physical characteristics of the body as well as its hormonal environment have a huge impact on the feelings, emotions, drives and perceptions of men, and women as well. Both the obvious physical sensations and the more subtle proprioception from our bodies impacts our thinking and emotions.

If you don’t believe our bodies impact our thinking and emotions, I suggest you examine what you think and feel after breaking an arm and wearing a cast for six weeks, or even after just stubbing your toe. For that matter, consider being kicked in the balls. It’s both painful and humiliating.

These examples are rather broad and obvious, but lesser effects can also impact us. Even the ongoing subtle stimuli of carrying around a penis and scrotum (or vagina and breasts) and less subtle changes in hormones affect the way we think and feel.

Being a man is strongly affected by male biology and physiology.

Masculine

I talk about masculinity in a multiple part series called the Masculinity Revelation so I won’t go into detail here. Masculinity is “a force that emanates from the male soul with a burning desire to create, to make an impact, to be a masterful actor in the greater world.” A man harnesses this desire to add his personal impact to the larger world. A male without this desire will fail to elevate to being a man.

Masterful

Mastery is addressed within masculinity, but is deserving of its own part of the equation. A man can attempt to be masculine, but fail at the mastery.

Mastery involves knowledge, skill, and proficiency in one or more subject areas. This implies a man applies self-discipline to put in the time and effort to build valuable skills and take impactful action.

Furthermore, being masterful includes a high degree of mindfulness in order to understand when and where to apply these skills.

Moral

Finally, a man has a set of morals and values that he lives by. He applies his masculinity and mastery in ways that comply with his morality. A male without values and morals can seem very powerful, but is just an out of control male, even a childish one.

A male without morals is far from being a man.

Summary

The definition of manliness can be summarized fairly easily with the 4M’s of Man. Being a man is much harder, requiring a high level of effort. Perhaps this high level of effort is what deters our latest generations of entitled young adults from appreciating manliness and masculinity.